"The  natural state of motherhood is unselfishness.
When you become a mother,
you are  no longer the center of your own universe.
You relinquish that position to your children. "
                                                              -Jessica  Lange
 

I was having a conversation with a few friends of mine a little while back and the conversation took a rather interesting turn. This one girl who is dating a close friend of mine opened her mouth and I couldn't believe half of the shit that came out of it. If I could have, I would have bitch slapped the stupid out of her. What started out as an innocent conversation about how adorable kids are and how they say the darndest things, something transferred into a conversation about parenting in general. In my opinion, a good mom is someone who provides security and love for their children and makes sure they have all the things they NEED not necessarily all the things they WANT. Apparently not everyone agrees with me; some crazy bitches think the complete opposite.

Without revealing names, lets call the woman in question IC - Ignorant Cunt. Bare in mind, I don't like the word C*nt. I'm not a fan of it in the least. However, if the shoe fits...

I was talking to a friend about saving up for a new laptop when he had asked me how my book was coming along. I told him it was momentarily put on hold since my laptop completely got destroyed and I'm saving up for a new one but obviously other needs come first (i.e- Bills, Julian's school, Food, Baby stuff, etc) so its a slow process. IC decided to jump in with an attitude and open her mouth talking about how she makes sure that not only herself, but all of her kids have their own iPads on top of her having her own laptop. Must be nice having all that extra money laying around to just spend on what ever the hell you please. According to her if you cant provide your children with the newest iPads, iPhones, iPods, Xbox's, PS3s and what ever else, then you aren't a good mom. Bitch, your kids are 4 years old. WTF do they need all that shit for. 

But, thank you IC for throwing it in people faces that you've got money to spare. Did that make you feel good about yourself? I made a note to ignore her the rest of the conversation. That was until she started being judgemental, and racist. Talking about how black women don't make good mothers because they are too ghetto to be a good parents. Talking about how black girls, or people from the 'ghetto' in general aren't with the children's father and don't know who their 'baby daddy's are. Umm, news flash honey, look in the mirror... No, ignore the fact that you look like a drag queen and take note of the fact that you are half black. Talk about Hypocritical. And to top it off, you kids 'father' left you because the docs told him he was sterile. Opps, who's condom broke?

Yes, I am white. Yes, I live in a suburban type neighborhood with matchy matchy houses and sweet neighbors who have the whole Stepford wives package going, No I don't match the stereotype 'ghetto girl' that IC decided to put down but guess what; I grew up in the 'ghetto'. I was born in the parking lot of 'the projects'. The shittiest part of town at the time. The complex I lived in was on the news and in the paper more often for stabbings, and shootings, etc then I care to count. The day wasn't complete unless I heard a gunshot or seen someone get a good old fashion beat down. THAT was the neighborhood I grew up in.


But you know what? My mom was a good mom. My real dad turned into a full blow drug addict and was kicked out when I was only two years old. My mother was the single parent of three kids. My brother was functionally autistic, but a major handful and violent. My sister had EB (a bad skin disease. Docs said she wouldn't live past the age of six) Most of my moms money went to medical needs for my sister that the Canadian Government wouldn't cover. My mom worked three jobs just to make sure we got by and my sister had a live in nurse to take care of her.

Yes, I lived in the Ghetto. Yes, I only had one channel on the television. Yes, all my shit was hand me downs. Yes, my mom did all my hair cuts herself. Yes, I slept on a mattress on the floor because we couldn't afford a bed frame. Yes, my mom grew marijuana (not in the house) just to be able to fully support us. But at least I had a bed, and a roof over my head, and food in my mouth. My mom taught me the value of life and gave me the drive to do something with my life. Gave me respect for myself and for other people. She taught me right from wrong. She made me get up and go to school and get a good education. She make me face my mistakes and live with my choices in life. She stood by me through those mistakes. She gave me a backbone to stand up for myself and able to take on those who tried to tare me down in life. And now look at me. I'm a well educated woman with a great head on my shoulders.

I may not be with my children's father, but I'm doing a damn good job raising my kids on my own. And at least my children don't need iPads and iPhones and all the other little iDo-dads for them to feel LOVED by me. My children know what REAL love is and I don't have to buy it from them. I would much rather use twenty minutes of my time listening to my son not make sense as he rambles on explaining rules of a game that he made up then shoving an electronic device in his hands to shut him up. I am a good mother. My mom was an amazing mother. She was super mom and we were bother FROM the ghetto. So IC you can take your ignorant judgemental bullshit and shove it up where the sun don't shine. You spread your legs often enough anyways, I'm sure there are no panties blocking the way. You might have to remove the stick out of your ass first though, just saying.

Do you think you need to provide your children the newest of the new whatever on the market to be a good parent? OR is love enough?

"You must not lose faith in humanity.
Humanity is an ocean;
if a few drops of the ocean are dirty,
the ocean does not become dirty"
                                             -Mahatma Gandhi

The world is so full of assholes and ignorant people sometimes its hard to remember that there are some good hearted decent people out there. I just so happened to meet a few of them today. My sister and I decided to take the kids swimming today. Between the two of us there was four kids and the pool by our place is amazing to take kids too, There is a mini pool that the kids can run around in and its no higher then their waist and the water is warmer then the regular pool. After swimming we decided to take the kids out to eat at The Old Spaghetti Factory in New Westminster.

We parked on the street a block up from TOSF on a hill. Totally forgot that the gas tank was almost empty. After we ate and came out to head home for the night, the car wouldn't start. The car was on a downhill slant so the censor in the tank registered it as being empty and the car wouldn't even turn over. After calling three tow truck companies, the best price we got was $95 to come and pull us out of the parking spot so we could roll down the hill in Neutral till it leveled out. And to top it off they said they wouldn't be able to make it for an hour and fifteen minutes. Flipping ridiculous. So we sat there for about fifteen or so minutes trying to start the car, hoping that it would just turn over so we could hit the gas station and make it home.

A man in his late thirties seen we were having a bit of car troubles and asked if we had needed help. Couldn't really push the car back out of the spot because me alone could not push this car UP a hill. He offered some help but there was no way the two of us could push it on our own. A group of young guys heading to the bar beside TOSF noticed we were trying to figure out how to get the car started. There were about 5 of them in their early twenties, around my age. In fact I think I may have went to school with one of them. They all stopped and offered to help. With 4 kids in the car and an hour wait for the tow truck, there was no way I was saying no.

The six men pushed us up the hill a good six or eight feet, getting us out of the parking spot and back enough to clear the car next to us. I thanked them all, and offered them all $20 each for helping and not a single one took it. In fact they refused to take it. Six complete strangers helping someone out just because. Not expecting anything in return. Very uncommon these days. Saved me $95 on a tow truck and restored a bit of faith in humanity. Not everyone has turned into an asshole. And its amazing to see people do things like this for complete strangers. Its something so little, but meant so much to myself and my sister. I appreciate things like this. The little things that people in society are able to do to help one another. The simple little things that only take up a few minutes of your time but can make the biggest difference to someone else.

Hope there are more people out there like this.

So in an attempt to get my blog up and running again I'm going to jump on the band wagon and do the sixteen random facts post. I've done random fact posts in the past and I miss doing the "random bambii facts" daily so don't expect this to be the end of the random things you will get to know about me. I've missed you Xanga... so here goes nothing.


1. I love Dragonflies. I don't know what it is... I don't like most bugs but I absolutely love dragonflies. They captivate me. I'm also getting a tattoo with my kids names and there will be dragonflies incorporated in it.

2. I'm permanently attached to my phone. It is with me at all times and if I can't find it for more then 2 minutes, I have a mini freak out moment. =/ I just feel naked without it.

3. I'm a bitch with a heart of gold. I have an attitude and a chip on my shoulder but I can be the sweetest person in the world. It all depends on the mood I'm in and how well we know each other.

4. I'm obsessed with reading. Between the hunger games, and the Divergent book series... I Just cant put books down.

5. I have a game app on my phone. PIMD. I'm Glued to it and I really have no flipping clue why.

6. I get hiccups every single day. They are annoying as hell, and every so often they are painful =(. And no.. drinking water upside down doesn't work for me.

7. I gave my daughter the middle name Amber after one of my best friends... Even though her and I haven't met in person yet <3

8. My daughters initials are B A M R... Done intentionally just so I can give her the nickname Bammer. Yeaaaahhh Don't ask.

9. I'm self destructive. When it comes to having good things/people in my life I get scared and without even noticing I'm doing it, I do things to sabotage myself and push them away =(

10. I honestly swear I'm a mix of Bipolar and ADHD. My attention span is short unless its something I'm really interested in... And I have mood swings like you wouldn't believe. Its not PMS and I can only blame the hormones for so long.

11. I don't hate Justin Bieber. *gasp* I know. Big shocker. Someone doesn't hate him. I don't particularly like him but I don't hate him either. I hate his song baby and all the other crap he first came out with. But some of his new stuff I cant sit through and even sing along with. I know I know. Grab your pitchforks and burn me at the stake xD.

12. I hate crying in front of people. And when I do cry I'm good at hiding it too. But I cry rather easily. Movies, books, Real life... all make me cry quite frequently.

13. I love musicals. Not the high school musical BS, I'm talking about the well made and performed musicals in live theater. Phantom of the Opera, Les Miserables, Rent, etc.

14. I love snow, but I hate being cold. I love the rain but being soaked annoys me.

15. I love the smell of rain... And fresh cut grass. And yes people... Rain has a smell. Don't look at me like I'm crazy.

16. I'm writing a book =). No clue when it will be done, Or if it will ever get published. BUT I am still writing it. Anyone know of a good way to get published... PLEASE message me <3

And that pretty much brings this blog to an end. <3 God I missed this place.