"The natural state of motherhood is unselfishness. When you become a mother, you are no longer the center of your own universe. You relinquish that position to your children." -Jessica Lange
I was having a conversation with a few friends of mine a little while back and the conversation took a rather interesting turn. This one girl who is dating a close friend of mine opened her mouth and I couldn't believe half of the shit that came out of it. If I could have, I would have bitch slapped the stupid out of her. What started out as an innocent conversation about how adorable kids are and how they say the darndest things, something transferred into a conversation about parenting in general. In my opinion, a good mom is someone who provides security and love for their children and makes sure they have all the things they NEED not necessarily all the things they WANT. Apparently not everyone agrees with me; some crazy bitches think the complete opposite.
Without revealing names, lets call the woman in question IC - Ignorant Cunt. Bare in mind, I don't like the word C*nt. I'm not a fan of it in the least. However, if the shoe fits...
I was talking to a friend about saving up for a new laptop when he had asked me how my book was coming along. I told him it was momentarily put on hold since my laptop completely got destroyed and I'm saving up for a new one but obviously other needs come first (i.e- Bills, Julian's school, Food, Baby stuff, etc) so its a slow process. IC decided to jump in with an attitude and open her mouth talking about how she makes sure that not only herself, but all of her kids have their own iPads on top of her having her own laptop. Must be nice having all that extra money laying around to just spend on what ever the hell you please. According to her if you cant provide your children with the newest iPads, iPhones, iPods, Xbox's, PS3s and what ever else, then you aren't a good mom. Bitch, your kids are 4 years old. WTF do they need all that shit for.
But, thank you IC for throwing it in people faces that you've got money to spare. Did that make you feel good about yourself? I made a note to ignore her the rest of the conversation. That was until she started being judgemental, and racist. Talking about how black women don't make good mothers because they are too ghetto to be a good parents. Talking about how black girls, or people from the 'ghetto' in general aren't with the children's father and don't know who their 'baby daddy's are. Umm, news flash honey, look in the mirror... No, ignore the fact that you look like a drag queen and take note of the fact that you are half black. Talk about Hypocritical. And to top it off, you kids 'father' left you because the docs told him he was sterile. Opps, who's condom broke?
Yes, I am white. Yes, I live in a suburban type neighborhood with matchy matchy houses and sweet neighbors who have the whole Stepford wives package going, No I don't match the stereotype 'ghetto girl' that IC decided to put down but guess what; I grew up in the 'ghetto'. I was born in the parking lot of 'the projects'. The shittiest part of town at the time. The complex I lived in was on the news and in the paper more often for stabbings, and shootings, etc then I care to count. The day wasn't complete unless I heard a gunshot or seen someone get a good old fashion beat down. THAT was the neighborhood I grew up in.
But you know what? My mom was a good mom. My real dad turned into a full blow drug addict and was kicked out when I was only two years old. My mother was the single parent of three kids. My brother was functionally autistic, but a major handful and violent. My sister had EB (a bad skin disease. Docs said she wouldn't live past the age of six) Most of my moms money went to medical needs for my sister that the Canadian Government wouldn't cover. My mom worked three jobs just to make sure we got by and my sister had a live in nurse to take care of her.
Yes, I lived in the Ghetto. Yes, I only had one channel on the television. Yes, all my shit was hand me downs. Yes, my mom did all my hair cuts herself. Yes, I slept on a mattress on the floor because we couldn't afford a bed frame. Yes, my mom grew marijuana (not in the house) just to be able to fully support us. But at least I had a bed, and a roof over my head, and food in my mouth. My mom taught me the value of life and gave me the drive to do something with my life. Gave me respect for myself and for other people. She taught me right from wrong. She made me get up and go to school and get a good education. She make me face my mistakes and live with my choices in life. She stood by me through those mistakes. She gave me a backbone to stand up for myself and able to take on those who tried to tare me down in life. And now look at me. I'm a well educated woman with a great head on my shoulders.
I may not be with my children's father, but I'm doing a damn good job raising my kids on my own. And at least my children don't need iPads and iPhones and all the other little iDo-dads for them to feel LOVED by me. My children know what REAL love is and I don't have to buy it from them. I would much rather use twenty minutes of my time listening to my son not make sense as he rambles on explaining rules of a game that he made up then shoving an electronic device in his hands to shut him up. I am a good mother. My mom was an amazing mother. She was super mom and we were bother FROM the ghetto. So IC you can take your ignorant judgemental bullshit and shove it up where the sun don't shine. You spread your legs often enough anyways, I'm sure there are no panties blocking the way. You might have to remove the stick out of your ass first though, just saying.
Do you think you need to provide your children the newest of the new whatever on the market to be a good parent? OR is love enough?
You have the right to remain naked and silent. Anything you say can and will be silenced by a ball gag. You have the right to include a third party, a video camera or sex toys. If you do not have one, my cock will do the job for you. If you change your mind we will include or exclude third party at any time. Do you understand these rights and are you ready to get F*cked
Role playing in the bedroom is a common form of foreplay for couples who like to experiment sexually. Anything from simply pretending your someone else, to full blown costumes. Cops, nurses, maids, sexy Disney characters. All are very common fantasies that men like their women to play out. But on the flip side, some women like the men to be the ones dressed up and acting. Just imagine being bent over the bed by your lover in a sexy fireman/police/military uniform. Who doesn't like a man in uniform, especially when you get to take it off of them ;).
One of the most common reasons that men and women cheat on one another is because things become boring and predictable in the bedroom. Some people like plain old vanilla sex and that can keep them happy their entire lives. Others however have a more sophisticated pallet when it comes to chemistry between the sheets. Best way to avoid being stuck with just one flavor when you like a variety is to be open and communicate with your partner.
Some people who think they like plain old vanilla sex turn out to be some of the kinkiest people out there. They key to discovering what you like is to be open to experimenting. Best way to do that is with someone you really trust. Its easier to open up to new experiences with someone you trust and you're more likely to enjoy them if you aren't hesitant while doing them. So be sure your 100% interested in the experience before you engage in sexual experimentation.
How do you feel about costumes in the bedroom/experimenting sexually with your partner?
"You mustnotlose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty" -Mahatma Gandhi
The world is so full of assholes and ignorant people sometimes its hard to remember that there are some good hearted decent people out there. I just so happened to meet a few of them today. My sister and I decided to take the kids swimming today. Between the two of us there was four kids and the pool by our place is amazing to take kids too, There is a mini pool that the kids can run around in and its no higher then their waist and the water is warmer then the regular pool. After swimming we decided to take the kids out to eat at The Old Spaghetti Factory in New Westminster.
We parked on the street a block up from TOSF on a hill. Totally forgot that the gas tank was almost empty. After we ate and came out to head home for the night, the car wouldn't start. The car was on a downhill slant so the censor in the tank registered it as being empty and the car wouldn't even turn over. After calling three tow truck companies, the best price we got was $95 to come and pull us out of the parking spot so we could roll down the hill in Neutral till it leveled out. And to top it off they said they wouldn't be able to make it for an hour and fifteen minutes. Flipping ridiculous. So we sat there for about fifteen or so minutes trying to start the car, hoping that it would just turn over so we could hit the gas station and make it home.
A man in his late thirties seen we were having a bit of car troubles and asked if we had needed help. Couldn't really push the car back out of the spot because me alone could not push this car UP a hill. He offered some help but there was no way the two of us could push it on our own. A group of young guys heading to the bar beside TOSF noticed we were trying to figure out how to get the car started. There were about 5 of them in their early twenties, around my age. In fact I think I may have went to school with one of them. They all stopped and offered to help. With 4 kids in the car and an hour wait for the tow truck, there was no way I was saying no.
The six men pushed us up the hill a good six or eight feet, getting us out of the parking spot and back enough to clear the car next to us. I thanked them all, and offered them all $20 each for helping and not a single one took it. In fact they refused to take it. Six complete strangers helping someone out just because. Not expecting anything in return. Very uncommon these days. Saved me $95 on a tow truck and restored a bit of faith in humanity. Not everyone has turned into an asshole. And its amazing to see people do things like this for complete strangers. Its something so little, but meant so much to myself and my sister. I appreciate things like this. The little things that people in society are able to do to help one another. The simple little things that only take up a few minutes of your time but can make the biggest difference to someone else.
"People are like dirt. They can either nourish you and help you grow as a person or they can stunt your growth and make you wilt and die." -Plato
I've had so many people in and out of my life; good, bad, indifferent. But each person has played a part in molding me into who I am. The experiences I've been put through with, or because of these people have paved the way for my choices in life. There are a few who have passed through that I will miss dearly, and there are a number of them that I am glad are gone and will probably not give another thought too. Things have changed in the past year that I have been away from Xanga. As I've recently posted My daughter was born She's completed our little family.
Speaking of family, that's another thing that has changed. My fiancé and I are no longer together. Its kind of a long story but things ended between us when I was five and a half months pregnant. He's gone back to California and hasn't looked back. Haven't heard a word from him since he left. I've contacted him trying to keep him informed on things about our daughter, the complications that put her at risk during the pregnancy, called him to tell him I was having the baby, called to tell him she was born, e-mailed him pictures and all her birth information. The one time he did answer his phone because he didn't recognize the number, he hung up when he heard my voice.
I remember the day I found out I was pregnant. How happy he was, how excited he was. Our trip to the ultrasound, looking at baby clothes, talking about baby names. All of that was so long ago and yet I remember it like it was yesterday. I still remember the feeling of him kissing my stomach, laying there talking to the little growing bump inside of me. Although him and I still had our problems then, he adored Brooklynn and she wasn't even born yet. I still don't understand how all that seemed to change over night.
We had talked about what would happen if him and I ever split. We made a plan in regards to the kids. Agreed on how the visitations would be set up etc. We promised that no matter what had happened between the two of us we wouldn't let it effect the kids. I would never keep him from the kids, and he wouldn't stop seeing them. No surprise there he found himself a little tramp to hang around with and he falls off the face of the earth and pretends the kids don't even exist. I could understand him losing interest if it were just Julian since he isn't his biological son, but Brooklynn is his own flesh an blood. His daughter could have died and he doesn't even give a shit.
I'm over the issues him and I had as a couple, I've dealt with that and moved on from it. I'm done and its over, But I can't get over him abandoning his child. He would complain to me about how his brother wasn't there for his kids, and he wanted to beat the shit about my ex brother in law after he abandoned my sister and their son. And yet he turns around and becomes a complete hypocrite and does the exact same thing he judges others on.
I don't know what to do about that or where to go from here. My son already asks about him, and has night terrors ever since he left. What am I supposed to say to him. How am I supposed to explain Devin walking out like that. When Brooklynn grows up, how am I going to explain it to her. All I have to offer her are a few pictures of her father and a sweater he left behind. A necklace and a ring. Beyond that, there is nothing left from him. Unless you count a blood stained carpet and a dented wall.
So in an attempt to get my blog up and running again I'm going to jump on the band wagon and do the sixteen random facts post. I've done random fact posts in the past and I miss doing the "random bambii facts" daily so don't expect this to be the end of the random things you will get to know about me. I've missed you Xanga... so here goes nothing.
1. I love Dragonflies. I don't know what it is... I don't like most bugs but I absolutely love dragonflies. They captivate me. I'm also getting a tattoo with my kids names and there will be dragonflies incorporated in it.
2. I'm permanently attached to my phone. It is with me at all times and if I can't find it for more then 2 minutes, I have a mini freak out moment. =/ I just feel naked without it.
3. I'm a bitch with a heart of gold. I have an attitude and a chip on my shoulder but I can be the sweetest person in the world. It all depends on the mood I'm in and how well we know each other.
4. I'm obsessed with reading. Between the hunger games, and the Divergent book series... I Just cant put books down.
5. I have a game app on my phone. PIMD. I'm Glued to it and I really have no flipping clue why.
6. I get hiccups every single day. They are annoying as hell, and every so often they are painful =(. And no.. drinking water upside down doesn't work for me.
7. I gave my daughter the middle name Amber after one of my best friends... Even though her and I haven't met in person yet <3
8. My daughters initials are B A M R... Done intentionally just so I can give her the nickname Bammer. Yeaaaahhh Don't ask.
9. I'm self destructive. When it comes to having good things/people in my life I get scared and without even noticing I'm doing it, I do things to sabotage myself and push them away =(
10. I honestly swear I'm a mix of Bipolar and ADHD. My attention span is short unless its something I'm really interested in... And I have mood swings like you wouldn't believe. Its not PMS and I can only blame the hormones for so long.
11. I don't hate Justin Bieber. *gasp* I know. Big shocker. Someone doesn't hate him. I don't particularly like him but I don't hate him either. I hate his song baby and all the other crap he first came out with. But some of his new stuff I cant sit through and even sing along with. I know I know. Grab your pitchforks and burn me at the stake xD.
12. I hate crying in front of people. And when I do cry I'm good at hiding it too. But I cry rather easily. Movies, books, Real life... all make me cry quite frequently.
13. I love musicals. Not the high school musical BS, I'm talking about the well made and performed musicals in live theater. Phantom of the Opera, Les Miserables, Rent, etc.
14. I love snow, but I hate being cold. I love the rain but being soaked annoys me.
15. I love the smell of rain... And fresh cut grass. And yes people... Rain has a smell. Don't look at me like I'm crazy.
16. I'm writing a book =). No clue when it will be done, Or if it will ever get published. BUT I am still writing it. Anyone know of a good way to get published... PLEASE message me <3
And that pretty much brings this blog to an end. <3 God I missed this place.